The Art of Badassery
by CatMistress
Summary: Jade Fireflower is an undercover trainee cop in a top secret government program. When she and her two coworkers are sent to Forks, they aren't very happy about their job. But happy about it or not, Jade isn't going to let a bunch of sparkly 'vampires' ruin it. WARNING: DO NOT READ IF YOU LIKE TWILIGHT, CONTAINS BASHING AND SOME REALLY BAD WORDS.


The Art of Badassery

Chapter 1

 ***Walks in and curls on her chair, cuddling with her cat before grabbing a cup of hot cocoa***

 **Hello! As you can probably tell, this is my first story. Sorry if it disappoints you, Twi-Haters, but I did the best I could.**

 **Just to be clear, this is literally the first fanfic I have ever written.**

 **And I'm only fourteen.**

 **So please be nice.**

Being the new student was never my strong suit. Especially in these god forsaken tiny ass towns like Forks.

Everyone looks at you.

I grabbed Skyler Storm's hand and Onyx Snow took mine. People looked at us weirdly, as if three sisters holding hands was really strange.

Well, fuck them.

It may have looked strange, I mused. We didn't look exactly alike.

I have waist length, chestnut, and curly hair with a jade green streak in it, the same color as my inhuman green eyes. It's pulled into a ponytail, like always. Onyx's waist long, straight black hair is flowing freely over her face, and her strangely transparent purple eyes flash the same color as the streak in _her_ hair. Skyler follows the same pattern: Her hair is black, waist long, and tightly curled. Her eyes are angel blue, which match (you guessed it) the streak in her hair.

Onyx and Skyler have smooth, pale skin, though Onyx is slightly paler than Skyler, who has pink cheeks from the cold. My skin is light brown, spattered with a few darker freckles across my cheeks. We all have straight, pearly teeth, though we rarely show them, and god knows we went through hell to get them. We all wore braces at one time or another.

And we aren't perfect in any way. I've been teased for being really short, for my slight accent, and for having a filthy mouth. I'm not clumsy, but I have a short temper, and like my 'sisters', I carry weapons around because I'm fucking paranoid. Another reason? It's my fucking job.

We were sent to protect this town and its inhabitants, even though they look like generic assholes that watch TV novels every day after work or school, and they interpret that as real life.

Oh yeah, did I mention we're all Olympic level trainees? That's another reason we got the job.

We don't actually use our real names while working. Instead of Jade Fireflower, I go by Julia Connors, while Onyx and Skyler play my sisters Olivia and Serena Connors. We have several disposable phones, supplied by the chief of this little project, Ana T. Knight. The T stands for Telissa, who, in our play, is our 'frequently traveling mother'. This works because she's thirty-nine and old enough to have three teenaged daughters. Not to mention she has similar hair to mine and wears blue contacts for her 'blind as a fucking bat syndrome' as she calls it. We get along fine, more than acquaintances but not quite friends. Point is she's a good boss. And good bosses mean good money, and money means food and funding for college.

Onyx and I are currently the same age, sixteen, though she was born May 25th and and I was born July 18th, hence my alias. To the world, I was born November 7th, Onyx was born August 2nd, and Skyler was born February 23rd , though her real birthday is April 16th. She was born a year before I did.

We're not exactly human either. Onyx and Skyler are witches, and I'm a faerie. My friends have wands, but they can't use them much. It's the same with my wings. Ana is aware our situation, being one eighth faerie. She has mild powers of mind reading and mental manipulation that were useful when interviewing suspicious people, though it took some effort for them to shine through. We were trained specially by a few humans in confidence, all of whom were tested by Ana while we stayed in the shadows, ready to make them forget if necessary.

All this is mandatory. Why? Because it absolutely fucking sucks to have everyone know your deepest secrets. Besides, this is a specialized part of the government. To every other police force, we were undercover trainees who protected high schools.

And I wanted to keep that a secret. After all, the staring would maximize if they saw our extensive weaponry: Pocket knives with special gadgets, daggers differing in size but equally as dangerous, stun guns and electric shock guns, small handguns, tasers we slipped in our pockets, handcuffs disguised as chains on our black jeans, and our own special magical touch, in case of supernaturals.

For me, it's my sword, made by myself and embedded with the strongest magic I have: the control of the **Four**. These are the four main magical elements I wield, **Fyre, Aqua, Natura, and Aire.** Of course, there's also **Winde,** a sub of **Aire** , and **Icce,** a sub of **Aqua.** Finally, there's a shiny white metal that can slice through diamonds, the hard gem being melted into the original by my **Fyre**. The hilt is gold, comfortable to hold on to, and partialy encrusted in jadestones. The sword, which I call Starsword, will repel anyone who isn't my friends or myself. I have a bow and arrow that's protected similarly, made of sleek cherrywood and decorated with green and gold vines. The arrows are specially decorated with my namesake, the FireFlower, a rare bloom that only grows in the deepest forests of Costa Rica. They're known for being extremely beautiful, and if you ever get to see one, you'll never forget.

For Onyx and Skyler, their weapons are their wands, though they can easily use their own bow and arrows, which I gave them, or do wandless magic.

I hear screams and realize that while I was lost in thought, we had stopped walking and were going to be run over by a guy who was…

"Fucking on drugs." I muttered.

The girl next to us seemed to be doing nothing except stare at the van like a fucking idiot.

"Move it!" Onyx snarled.

Skyler shoved the girl of the way and we dived after her, our hands protecting our heads from the showering glass, but not before I felt what felt like a wall ram into me.

The marijuana smoking asshole was showered as well.

And that, kids, is why you don't do fucking drugs.

"Someone is getting arrested. " Skyler mumbled

You got that right.

And this weird ass boy who was standing all the way across the parking lot was now next to the girl.

Fucking tiny towns.

The girl- Isabella Swan, the daughter of the chief policeman- was grumbling after they put the neck brace on her.

What a fucking asshole.

I was sitting on a cot with my 'sisters', calmly letting the ambulance doctors pick out glass from our arms.

And while her father looked worriedly on, Swan was just fucking whining and eye humping the vampire who had come over. The son of the doctor, something Cullen.

 _Sullen Cullen_ , _it looks like._

I smirked.

"Miss, we're going to take you to the hospital."

"Sure, I just have to call our mom." Skyler said, taking out her cell.

" _Hello?"_

"Hi mom. Look, we were in a car accident."

" _Who's getting arrested?"_

"Uh huh, yeah, reminded me of that movie, Code 14 slash 78."

" _Got it. Good work."_

"Okay mom. Yeah, we'll see you there. Love you. M'kay, bye."

Skyler hung up.

"We're all set ma'am."

The boy was calmly walking over to the front of the ambulance. I alerted the nurse tending to me, and she hurriedly grabbed him by the arm. After a conversation where Sparkles attempted to sweet talk the nurse, he was thoroughly punished and was now brooding next to us in the ambulance.

At the hospital, they rubbed antiseptic on our many scratches. The druggie was wheeled in, vomiting apologies.

"Dude, we're alive. Fucking get over it and fix your shit up." I said, clenching my teeth.

I proceeded to ignore his shocked look and turned to Skyler and Onyx.

Onyx was sitting with her eyes closed, using her powers to assess the area.

"You okay?" I asked, rolling my eyes to the door.

"Fine. I think the doctor is coming in. Apparently he's a real eye _sucker_."

Fuck. Vampire doctor? What happened to Dracula?

Skyler sighed as the nurse wrapped the last bandage.

The girl had ripped her neck brace off.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

"Swan, you hit your head. That fucking neck brace is for your own safety."

"I'm fine!" Whiny voice said.

"Right, and I'm fine too. The blood? Nah, that's just paint. Go ahead, I'm sure you should even take a nap." I said, my voice dripping sarcasm.

The girl huffed and turned away.

The sparkle vamp entered, trying to look older than twenty-three.

I ignored him as he talked some bullshit I probably already knew, asking the obvious like, "Does it hurt when I touch it?"

Refraining from answering, " _What do you fucking think, Doc?"_ I instead said, "Yes."

"Alright, you're all clear. You might-"

"We're going back to that school." Onyx interrupted, getting up and slinging her bag on her shoulder.

I nodded and we turned, leaving without another word.

In the damn school, we frequently heard whispers.

"I hate high school." I muttered.

The bell rang and Onyx and I parted from Skyler to go to double Literature.

The teacher barely looked up as I handed him a slip of paper from the hospital.

We sat next to each other taking turns in glancing out the window we were next to. I was freezing my ass off.

The teacher wrote instructions on the assignment on the board.

"Write about a topic you like until the bell rings. Read what you've done in front of the class when you've finished."

I pulled out my astronomical science text, given to me by my older sister, about ten years ago. She died soon after.

I finger the gold cross around my neck and the dark green bracelets around my right wrist. Those were a gift from my mom.

Shaking out theses thoughts, I dived into the book, scrawling a hasty outline about rogue planets and how they're formed. Next to me, Onyx was neatly listing points about Leonardo Da Vinci (she loves his paintings – she's an art addict. I am too, but more in the performing arts.), when her head suddenly snapped up.

"Sparkles in." she muttered, phrasing it as if she saw it in the text, adding a confused "Vandalism?" for credibility.

I glanced up casually, pretending to check the time.

Sure enough, Grumpy McGlitter was striding into the school.

He sure looked grumpy.

I smirked.

 _Try and get me back for that, Glitz._


End file.
